We’re sexy, we’re funny, and some of us are actually happier since we’ve become positive. The fact is, HIV-positive people have active, fun sex lives. These are the same people for whom the only acceptable narrative for HIV-positive people is one of apology: “I made a mistake and here is how my life should be a cautionary tale for you who still have hope.” Personally, I think these “haters” are judgmental people with limited imaginations - folks who conflate being HIV-positive with being dead, as if there was no difference between a living human with a treatable disease and a corpse. Both are transmitted through totally normal and natural human behaviors that we have been engaging in for millions of years. Getting HIV is no more a moral failure than getting the flu. When people see someone like Mason, or myself even, tarred and feathered in comments sections or on Twitter, it reinforces this fear that guys who may be HIV-positive but haven’t gotten tested have: that knowing their status will result in similar condemnation from the community. HIV stigma is a real problem and one that discourages people from knowing their status. He was outed as being HIV-positive on social media and then subjected to all kinds of hatred for doing nothing more than what a lot of people have done - engaging in unprotected sex and then testing positive. Look at what happened to one of your performers, Mason Wyler. When porn stars and other sexually active men are stigmatized for having HIV. I made a decision a long time ago to live life according to my own sense of right and wrong. If people want to put the mantel of villain on me, fine. I’ve only tried to express myself honestly and create something true to my own sexual fantasies and experiences. In making bareback porn, I have not set out to be a good or bad person, responsible or irresponsible. That’s the same argument that some folks make against homosexuality in general – that it is okay in the private sphere, but not okay in the public one. And I think this is a very interesting and different perspective, one that should be heard and considered, as opposed to silenced.īut it’s one thing to lead your own life that way, but another to show it to men who might emulate the behavior. He’s a creature of animus, driven by his own pleasure yet possessing of a conscious understanding of consent. The things I like about Owen Hawk are that he’s not there saying HIV is not real, he knows HIV is real, but he’d rather be positive and fuck raw than be negative and wear a rubber. But Owen Hawk is not a real person he is a fictional character - my own creation for public consumption, my avatar actor in a world of fantasy that is not real. He’s foul-mouthed, aggressive, and doesn’t give a shit what people think about him. I created this character, Owen Hawk, and I never intended him to be a role model. Personally, I see myself as an entertainer and not a bareback-advocate. That seems so different than your life on the set. Every day I am extremely grateful for these things and I remain very optimistic about the future of HIV treatment and the possibility of a cure in my lifetime. I am in a long-term relationship of four years with an awesome man, so I don’t have the fear of being rejected or that no one will love me. Presently, I am very healthy, athletic, I don’t use drugs and I tolerate my once daily medications without any side effects. I don’t particularly regret it, but I don’t think I would have made the same decision in my 30s when I am much less driven to act out and experience every one of my fantasies. I wanted to have these wild, intense, raw sex experiences and I understood that this probably meant getting HIV, and that when that happened I would be responsible about it and take care of myself medically.Īt the time, the demand that my sex drive was putting on me was something that was very hard to ignore, and I was in my 20s and under the impression that I was invincible. I fully expected it to happen and was not shocked when it did. What about on a personal level? How has HIV affected you?įinding out I was positive was not a momentous turning point in my life.